Maybe Love is just a Void..

I am lost in this hollow vastness that people call love. I can't remember where I've gone, or where I've went. I've forgotten my own footsteps, retracing them is hopeless. 

I keep waiting. 

Waiting for someone to notice me, to help me find my way. I'm waiting for someone to piece me back together. To find all my broken parts, all the traces that I've left behind. I'm waiting for someone to make me whole again.

Though maybe,

Maybe I'm always waiting. 

You see, I laugh a lot for someone who is dead inside. And I smile just enough, to seem okay. 

But I hope that one day, someone will come along and bring back the dimples in my smile. And that their smile, the warmth of it, will give me that feeling of butterflies. The feeling that I have longed to remember.

My heart is full of empty spaces.

And with empty spaces, comes secrets full of metaphors.

A box full of happy memories, with him. A calendar kept close to my skin. A ring that holds so much promise, but was never promised. 

Maybe love is just a void.

Maybe love, is just an idea. An idea that was meant to give us hope, but not to keep us breathing. So many of us, get drunk on the idea of love. And not enough of us, realize how destructive it really is.

Love gives us idle feelings. We think we're happy, but really..

We're desolate.

Or maybe that's just me. Me and my twisted thoughts. Thinking that love is evil. Evil like the sun. I have found a lot of horrors in light, and so much beauty in the dark. 

I have lost hope in finding love, and in finding myself. I think I will always be lost. Lost in the void. And I think, I will continue to have shallow laughter, and fake smiles. I think I've lost the light in my eyes. My step has lost its purpose, and voice has become  an echo, an echo in the void. 

I think I've become desolate, and will always feel the numbness of deaths kiss. I think I have learned to live with these empty spaces in my heart.

I also think, someone is going to find me. And they are going to fall in love with me. Whatever that means. And they are going to fall in love with the all the little broken pieces, and painful memories, and endless tears, and weakened cries. They are going to fall in love with the little quirks, and giggles, and gentle touches. They are going to fall in love with me. So I think, I'm going to keep just enough hope, to get me through.

Because maybe, just maybe..

We are all lost. 

And maybe, the void isn't so bad.

Maybe, we are all waiting in the empty spaces of out hearts, for someone to find us.

And so,

I think I'm going to keep waiting.