Grey Crayon in the Box

When I was a little girl, I was told my eyes reflected the galaxies of my thoughts. And that nothing could be more beautiful.

 I believed you could make wishes on eyelashes, like we do with dandelions. I believed grey was the most fascinating color in the crayon box.
But never did I think, my mind would be as unknown as a paradox.

I believed in pinkie promises. 

 I believed in bedtime stories, and mini marshmallows in hot chocolate. I believed nothing could be greater than love. And still, I believed grey was the most fascinating color in the crayon box.
But never did I think, goodbyes could hurt more than a knife.

 I believed you could get through anything with a Hannah Montana song. I believed that my ADHD could never hold me back. I believed in dads and doughnuts, and drinking apple juice when you get sick. I believed my stuffed animals were family, and that peas were of the devil. 

But never once did I think, 
that the little grey crayon in the box, was me.

 And now I believe that grey is the color of secrets, never meant to be read. Grey is the unknown. Grey is supposed to be the inbetween. Grey is a color that doesn't stand out. 

I believe that colors will always fade, but grey will remain. I believe grey is the color of our empty spaces.

But maybe grey is a paradox too.

Maybe grey is sad. And maybe grey cries. But grey will be okay. Maybe grey can be beautiful, as it's the color of silence. Maybe grey stays the same, to comfort each color when its their time to fade. Maybe grey is lost, trying to find its spot on the page.

And maybe,
Maybe I'm just a little too grey.

I am a dull and lifeless grey. I am one that wants nothing more than to be that little girl with crazy beliefs. The girl that didn't know any better.

Now I just think in grey.
But that's not entirely a bad thing.

So next time you see, that little grey crayon in the box. Think of a little girl who hoped and dreamed. Think of a girl that makes mistakes, but still continues to try. Think of a girl who still believes in pinkie promises. Think of a girl who is more beautiful than all her defeat. Think of a girl who will always be around, who is always here to stay.

Think of me.

        Me and my grey.