Goodnight B.

It's pathetic really, how much I still hope it's you and me in the end. 

But then again, maybe my end isn't with someone. 

They are the one's that keep deciding they don't want to be living the moments of their precious life with me. 

Nothing goes as planned, everything breaks.

People say goodbye, everyone says goodbye. Just in their own special way, but the way you did? Killed me the most.

I can feel the memory of you pumping through my veins, I can still taste you on my lips. And I can't get rid of you.

Everything will change. Nothing stays the same. And I am the only one to blame I guess. At least thats how it seems.. I am the one everyone leaves behind. 

We used to never say goodbye, we were to afraid of a goodbye. Instead, to bit each other farewell, we only said goodnight. As a promise that there would never be a goodbye. It helped us sleep at night, knowing that we were always going to have each other. And every new sunrise, it was a contest to see who would say good morning first. And everytime, it brought a smile to my lips. 

You stopped saying goodnight. 

So I stopped sleeping. 

The nightmares become to real, waking me in screams, every. single. night.

Sleep used to be my escape from reality, it used to help me destress. Id have to take a nap every single day after work or school. 

But now?

Sleep is just the reminder of everything I no longer have. Its a reminder of everything that I love, and care, and cherish with everything in me. And now, its all gone. 

Everything.

I can never escape.

My words, feel swollen inside my throat.

My screams caught inside my frozen lungs. 

I can't stand this hell.

Maybe my end isn't with someone.

Maybe, it ends with me. And maybe, its time for the end to come. 

So my love, my forever, my eternity,

This is goodnight. And a long night it will be.

You are, and always were, worth coming apart for.