It's Gonna Be Messy

   I'm a jumbled up mess. Full of complications. I can never make up my mind. As I've said in my introduction, I call myself a paradox. Or more specifically, my mind is the paradox. I'm just the void. This post, this reveal, is going to be a jumbled up mess as well. It seems best fit. 

I'm a paradox.

I want to be happy, 

but I think of things that make me sad.
I'm lazy, yet ambitious. 
I don't generally like myself, but I
also love who I am. 
I say I don't care, yet most of the time
I do.
I crave attention, but reject it
when it comes my way.

I'm a conflicted contradiction.

I can't figure myself out, so 
there's no way anyone else 
has either.

And like the moon

she had a side of her

so dark, that even the stars

couldn't shine on it.

she has a side of her

so cold, that even the sun

couldn't burn on it.

I have a fear of Otter pops. Like,

legit not kidding. 

I believe that Spyro the dragon

is the most amazing game 

on the planet.

Besides, COD MW3,

or Black Ops 3.

There are days where

all I can think is,

"I just want to go home"

Even as I'm laying in

my own bed.

I believe in a lot of things.

I believe in moments, 

and kisses, and Mountain Dew.

I believe in books, and people,

and music that makes you 

feel something.

I believe in sunrise, and nights

with a full moon,

and all the moments inbetween.

I believe in the fact that we

are all made up

of star dust

and we have a part of the

universe within us.

Sometimes, I even

believe in love.

And it's a shame really,

because I believe in all things

but I don't believe

in myself.

Most of the time anyway.

This is me.

Me and my grey.

Me and my never ending

paradox.

This is me.

McKinzie Seeley.