October 6.

There's a gaping hole inside me.

Still.

From you.

You have cemented all of my haunting thoughts in my head, as true. 

I will breathe in this world alone.

I may have lost someone, who had never loved me.

And I like to tell myself, that you are the one who lost. Because you lost someone who truly loved you.

As each day passes, I feel the burning truth.

Most nights are rough, I lay there in darkness. Overwhelmed by the things, I wished I didn't think about.

I gave so much of myself to you, that I lay here, suffocated.

In my hand I hold the pieces,
I have left of me.

So broken, and small.

My heart aches from missing the touch of once being loved. To be held on days when its raining, and raining, and raining, in my soul. Days like this. Days like today. 

I miss the comfort,

of having someone there,

when I would return home.

But I have to learn to live with the ache.

I don't want this life anymore.

So its either, push through, and make my tears my anthem.

Or let my heart stings hang me, and have my last breathe be my "sorry ".

I could never take back my goodbye.

One things for sure.

Life has pain. 

And pain seems to be all I know. 

So the decision is made.

"The sadness will last forever."

April 11.

Such a beautiful ending to me,

So poetic, so evocative.

Such a way to die.

You are my suicide.

My Paradise..

Laying in bed.

2:07 in the morning.

Legs brushing one another.

Fingers intertwined with your arms around me.

You asked me,
"What is paradise to you?"

"Paradise is here. 

Now.

In the breath between
You and me. "


And I hope to never leave.

My Moment..

We go about our life's,
Searching for someone who's demons are
compatible with ours.
We dance with too much destruction, to fill
the empty spaces in our hearts.

We patiently and hopefully, wait for that
last dance. Because we believe it will make
us whole again.

For me,
I was left with too much hollow heartbreaks.
I started to give up on love, letting the
feeling of abandonment take over.

That's why..

It was unexpected.
So very unexpected.
How fast I fell for you.
How quickly we fell for each other. 

And to think it all started by a dishwasher.
In old smelly work clothes.
With pruned wrinkled fingers.
Yet it happened.
We fell for each other.

With snap streaks
And endless text messages,
to all nighters in gas station parking lots.
it was ridiculous,
But we fell for each other.

I remember it all.
The gentle little-more-than-friendly hugs,
Electrifying sweet kisses, and the nervous
sweaty palms while holding hands.

I remember the feeling I felt when I first
started talking to you.

I remember being afraid of the way you 
made me feel.

I remember not wanting to get hurt again.

I remember when I used to think that
everything was pointless. Wasted.
Desolate.
After all,
it all fades away in the end..

Yet incredibly,

We fell for each other.


There comes a time when you meet
someone, and you just want to make them
smile for the rest of your life.

And all it takes is a moment.
A single moment.

Until they become your forever.


You and me?
It's a forever kind of thing.

So darling,

Save the last dance for me. 

Because I remember,
We fell for each other.

And I swear to god,
that was my moment.

You. 

Not as Cliché

Have you ever wondered how someone who was romantically interested in you, viewed you?

As if they were writing a novel or a book. Maybe they'd write about your hair was a perfect shade of brown, or a flattering unnatural hair color (like pink, or purple) that brought out the pale/dark complexion of your skin. How beautiful your eyes looked when you were happy, or how they sparkled and darkened in different emotions.

Maybe you're viewed as a beautiful, sassy, spitfire, not afraid to speak your mind.

Maybe you're the shy sweetheart, who doesn't really understand how beautiful you are, yet you see beauty in everything else.

Or maybe, it's hard to categorize you, because they're horrible at words, but they're so damn in love with you to even care.

To someone, who you are as a person doesn't deter them from falling in love with you. It doesn't matter how broken your past is, or the fact you may be hard to figure out, how crazy your family is.

At the end of the day, everyone gets their storybook romance.

It just won't be cliche as all the others.

Kisses

I want to kiss you,

but only in the most

connotative way possible,

so that no dictionary definition

would stand a chance

to describe how your lungs

could be filled with the

sweetest air possible,

and yet you would still be

so breathless..

You.

I remember how it was.

How we were.

I remember how it felt, and how it feels.

I remember the passion.

I remember the late night drives, and midnight text conversations.

I remember the green snap backs

And the Taco Bell we never ate.

I remember the GTRs and the i8s.

I remember the Lotus.

I remember you.
I remember our week.

I remember us.

I could never forget.

And it hurts...

It hurts like hell...