You Left Your Mark.

I remember when you were a human.
Just a human.

Just a person.

I remember when you were just a passing face.

But then that changed.

Then you said hi.

Then you kissed my soul with

your words.

Then I became afraid.

I was afraid of the way you made me feel. 

I was afraid of how, one 

look from you..

         Made my knees weak..

I wasn't supposed to love you,

I wasn't supposed to fall for you.

I had to pretend that I didn't,

That I don't.

But I'm having a hard time convincing myself.

And now I'm afraid that you're 

always going to mean something to me.

You had left a mark on me.

I knew I was going to get hurt.

You could have anyone that you wanted.

It would be so easy for you to leave me.

But, I didn't want to risk,

not being with you.

I feared goodbyes.

I hated them.

I hated the void of what comes 

after them. 

The vulnerability..

So I'll swallow my words

and hope that I choke.

Because anything is easier 

than saying goodbye.

I look at you now and I don't see 

just an ordinary person.

I don't see a standard face.

Now..

Now you're noteworthy.

You became something so complex, that

I couldn't understand.

More complex than me.

And I found that intriguing.

But I was just a face to you.

Just a girl that was falling for you.

Someone that could distract you for

the time being.

I was colored pencils, instead of sharpies.

I wasn't permanent.

So you moved on.

You left.

You weren't afraid of goodbyes.

You were afraid of attachment.

But as for me,

I was afraid of letting go.

I was afraid of being forgotten.

Of being replaced.

I wish I wasn't though..

I wish you were still just

a human to me.

Like I was to you.

I don't want to look at you,

and see poetry.

Just Imagine..

Do you ever just see someone when you're
walking down the street, or waiting in line for
coffee and just think:

Wow, you are beautiful.

There's something about that person that just
captivates you, draws you in, and you can't
exactly put your finger on it.

And you find yourself staring, just watching
them go about their business in the way that
they do.

Then it's your turn in line, or the person turned
a corner and disappeared, and you realize 
you've got a big goofy grin on your face 
because just, wow.

Imagine..

Just imagine..

Imagine how many people have had that
experience because they saw you.

Maybe Just One Dance?

Spring Fling is this Saturday.

My Senior year of Spring Fling.

Except, I'm not going.

Just like how I haven't gone to any other school dances.

Every guys choice dance, I don't get asked.

And every girls choice dance, I get turned down.

Instead, I sit in my sweats, with my hair in a messy bun.

I order takeout from my favorite place to eat.

And I have Netflix marathons of my favorite TV shows.

And all while I do this,

I am writing poems. Looking at others dance pictures on Facebook.

But before I do all of this,

I am helping my friends get ready for the dance.

Curling their hair, doing their makeup, etc..

Every time, they tell me,

"I bet you will go to the next one."

"You are too beautiful to not get asked."

"I don't know why guys aren't asking you, you're prettier than me."

But am I?

Am I the image of beautiful to them?

Or just an average girl?

Maybe one day I will get asked to a dance,

and maybe I won't.

And if I don't, that's okay.

I have embraced this loneliness of being alone.

As well as accepting the beauty,

That my first dance,

Will be on my wedding day.

In the arms of someone, who will always be willing

To have the first dance.

And man,

Am I looking forward to that.

#different